Friday, August 05, 2005

Workouts gone bad


Dear Guy who got on the treadmill next to mine when there were plenty of others free,

Don't ever run, walk or do squats near me again. Did you not hear me gagging almost as soon as you came into my vicinity? You stink. I mean "stale cold sweat reek" kind of stank. Do you not wash your work out clothes or bathe for that matter? I was having a great time huffing and puffing away with the Black Eyed Peas telling me to "keep running, running and running running" and then my eyes welled up with your stench (that was unmercifully blown my way by giant factory size fans the gym calls "Air Conditioning") and I had to cut my run short and go find the farthest stationary bike away from you in an attempt to peddle clean air up my nose. When I finally decide it is clear to go back to the treadmill, you are gone. Completely vanished from the entire gym (believe me, I checked out of nasal fear). So screw you for wearing your bottom of the dirty laundry pile sweat soaked work out clothes just to put in 10 minutes on the treadmill next to mine for the sole pleasure of ruining my exercise experience.

Take a shower,

Lauren

5 comments:

Neil said...

He must of gotten on the treadmill next to yours for a reason... a gym crush, perhaps?

andy said...

The 'smelly gym man', a must for the complete workout experience. How he brings a tear to the eye and the bile to the back of your throat. To think…after a particularly heavy session on the stepper that I too could be that man! Feel lucky it was stale sweat and not fresh perspiration that he flicked at you with a careless wipe of the forehead.

During your time at the gym have you seen 'martial arts expert' on the punch bag (with his killer donkey kicks) or heard 'screaming guy' on the weights? Perhaps you've noticed 'ripped man' who spends his entire session hogging the one piece of equipment you've left to use, or 'marathon woman' who effortlessly strides her way to an inhuman 45 min on the treadmill?

Freaks at the gym, you gotta luv em!

Jack's Shack said...

I admit it, I was that smelly gym man.

meme said...

I think the same guy sat down next to me on the subway the other day! What are the chances!!

Weedlet said...

Your blog is great! It's hard to find blogs with good content and people talking about stationary bike these days! I have a secret stationary bike exposed if you want to come check it out